May 17

Teenagers are the same everywhere. I admit mine were easy but we did have a few feuds. Our thirteen year old just came head to head with me.

I had heard rumors about her refusal to go to school, take her medicine, etc. but I really wasn’t prepared. I sat her down to talk to her the first day and explained how she has two choices The first is to have a fun time together. I will teach her lots of things about growing up and we can go shopping, out to lunch, get her hair cut if she will do the things expected of her and treat others with respect. The second choice I warned her about. I told her that if she continued in this angry way I could make her life miserable. I also told her that her feelings were normal and that every woman experiences this stage.

She agreed that she really wanted the fun path and that she would apologize to her Nanny for all the mean things she had done and start over. We hugged and cried and looked forward to lots of sweet years ahead.

I came back the next day and asked her Nanny if things were better. Well…… she had not apologized in fact she had moved out of the house rented for her, the Nanny and the other little girl. All without permission. The Nanny had bought her a present and she had thrown it back at her while screaming how much she hates her. I called the thirteen year old into my office to ask her what had happened. She turned her face, stomped her foot and told me that she is now grown up and she will make all her own decisions now. I remembered my own kids and kept my voice completely calm.

I told her now I understand and that since she is old enough to make her own decisions she is also old enough to support herself. I told her that she would need to go get all the clothes I had given her and bring them to me. She stomped out with “the” attitude and came back with her suitcase full. (she LOCKED it!) Then I told her that now I needed her shoes. She hesitated with a little softer look but refused to give them to me. I told her no problem, if she still wouldn’t cooperate, she would need to sleep on the floor and I would give her bed to someone else who needed help. While she was making her decision I told her to run back to her house and pick out a toy so we could give it to the poor because they would appreciate it more. We walked out together and found a whole bunch of street children right outside our gate. She agreed she did feel better helping others.

She decided that she did want to give me her shoes (I gave her another, just not so cute) She kissed her Nanny and said a genuine sorry, she got up on time to go to school, (she really does prefer a bed) she has been sweet and helpful in every way. I think we have her back. Today she gets half her clothes back because I think she has decided that choice one may be better.

So for all of you who are in the battle or remember one. I’m with you:)